Random routes to 'empowerment'...

So, today I went and watched a movie on my own. Now this maybe normal for some, but I'd never done it before, so there was some apprehension of course...even if the act itself was miniscule when compared to something like, errr, the feeding of a cat? :). Either way, I will recount simply because I know this is one I'll remember.

It started out with me performing a horrid parking job (as usual) with the back right wheel of the car in a gravelly ditch, but who cared at that moment...I was late for the movie! I ran in and asked the blonde, bespectacled lady in the red and white uniform if the movie was sold out. She said there were only 16 seats left and that it would be crowded. (At this moment I performed an invisible rolling of my eyes...going, woman, I'm from INDIA, and just spent a summer travelling on buses where every inch of my body was touching sweaty Sri Lankan ones {at this point, you are allowed to be grossed out :D})

Okay, sorry I digress. So I said 16 was fine, can you give me one ticket. And then...it came, she said "Just one?!?!?!?!" Well that was an exaggeration. But she surely felt all that punctuation in her head...but being a well-trained-customer-serving-red-uniformed lady, she kept it to herself. Just as I had kept my eye-rollings to myself. Now since I was slightly embarrassed, I would have liked to tell her that I do have friends, and one had come over visited twice since the movie's release to watch it with me, and that both times it was sold out. But I figured she didnt really care to hear my insecurity stemming justifications :).

So I ran in, sat one seat over from a lovey-dovey couple, thought for a few moments of happier moments of the self, and then...got lost in the movie. Which was pretty good, I liked it. And then after I decided not to sneak into another theatre to illegally watch a second movie on one ticket, I skipped out into the fresh wind.

I felt pretty good about myself at that moment. It was an self-empowering moment for sure. I felt so good, I actually managed to extricate the poor car from the ditch without hitting anybody else's bumpers.

This alraqs-story got me thinking about 'empowerment'. I've always had random moments of empowerment, and trust me, they are not always a result of movie watching alone :). But the point is, empowerment is a very personal thing, I feel it when I do, not necessarily when someone else does.

In the development world, there are scores of debates on 'empowerment' 'women's empowerment' and so on and so forth. (Yes, every once in a while, I do work on my thesis). Most development projects, especially the participatory ones, have the ulimate goal of 'empowerment of the people'.

And that is accomplished by the projects through the use of implementation tool-kits. They tell you how to encourage people to participate, to encourage them speak up, how to mobilize people, to give participants decision making power, to increase bargaining powers, to support women in their needs, and etc.

I have nothing against these implementation paradigms, they work great, and it's wonderful when a project has really brought the best out in an ordinarily supremely shy 21 year-old woman in an unmapped village, for example.

But that doesnt take away from the fact that empowerment is different for everybody based on personal limitations--natural and environmental. In that case, cookie-cutter approaches just dont cut it.

This directly translates into the fact that for instance, 'empowerment' as defined by a donor is not what 'the people' really want or care for. I remember Ramani Akka from my summer travels who was 'super-empowered' according to all measures of 'empowerment', and whose family hated the fact. They hated that she wandered around canvassing for change, attending meetings, having loads of friends...instead of staying in and doing housework.

And this situation isnt only restricted to some unheard of village in a tropical country. In hi-fi worlds, accepted defintions of 'empowerment' arent appreciated by all. Think investment banker mother who is looked down upon if she doesnt pick up her kids from school.

Now, of course, stereotypes exist, but nevertheless, it homes in that 'empowerment' is so personal, so nuanced, and so varied. This also explains why Third-World feminists oppose some tenets of Western feminism, and other things like that.

I think 'empowerment' is great, its wonderful, its releasing. Its much, much more than just independence. I mean it contains the 'power' word, it must be great, right :).

On a professional level, I hope donor project design incorporates more of these subtelties and nuances. On a spiritual (?) level I just hope...and maybe this is another one of my ardent non-realistic hopes...but I hope that people find out what makes them feel empowered, and then that they are able to shoot for it.

And on a personal level, maybe this indicates I need to invest more in the movie watching alone business :).

partners in crime...

My Partner-in-Crime (PIC) and I went to visit a psychic yesterday. Since I'm comparatively a sceptic, and a non-future planner, I thought it would be an entertaining experience...and it was!

The psychic picked out my soulmate for me, planned my career (and my sister's), counted my yet-to-come-kids for me (albeit in non-congruence with my own psychic predictions), and predicted my future car wrecking accident.

Now that last prediction, was well worth the money I spent on my reading, esp. since I am a ...er, horrible driver, and should prolly really not be on the roads in the first place. Its just that I get easily 'dazed' too often, and too many things on the road catch my fancy; so much so that I have to stop what I am doing at the moment (read looking through my windshield at the road ahead) and stare at a colorful billboard, or at an interestingly dressed person, or at a flock of birds flying away enmasse from a tree, and so on...Talk about an easily distractable mind!

Driving horror stories apart, my cat feeding nightmare came to a safe end too yesterday (for the time being at least, I firmly believe that tommorrow always brings newer, brighter possibilities). I was trying to get through the WRONG door (!!!) to feed the cat of a friend who is out of town. Through divine intervention, no doubt, I eventually found out that the door that would lead me to the cat was about, oh, 3 feet away from the one I had been trying to break into for the past 4 days. I dont think I have felt as stupid as I did in a long time when that realization struck. And that, is saying a lot for me! Please, feel free to conclude that I feel stupid about the things I do on a very regular, almost daily basis.

To end our eventful day, my PIC and I watched Mr. & Mrs. Smith (on my insistence, since it had the two most best-bodied actors in the industry. I mean what better eye-candy than Brad Pitt, even if his face is like a langur's?). It was, without a doubt, a total brainless two hours...maybe except for PIC, since she was predicting scene after scene in this completely predictable movie, while I stared at her in open-mouthed awe (another one of those--"Alraqs is feeling stupid" moments).

Daily living during the holidays is SO much fun when you make an adventure out of every activity!!

Reflections on ice-breaking...

Here's an Ogden Nash pearl--

Candy
Is dandy.
But liquor
Is quicker.

Time tested ice-breaker that!

Nash never fails to make me smile, and sometimes laugh :).

The nearest future....

THREE WEEKS....of vacation! Cause for celebration, no doubt. Thesis writing looms dangerously on the horizon and threatens to annihilate the threadbare veil of sanity that I desperately continue to hold on to.

BUT heres my proclamation: I will ignore it, I will deny that I have three months to write 200+ pages, I will bravely move away from the potential threat of hyper-stress. I will overcome the disaster the thesis spells for me....by staunchly pretending it doesnt even exist :).

I will push thoughts of it to my farthest-est future.

And today, in my nearest future I predict sleep :), dance :), cheesecake :), maybe some adventures in vada making :) and, yes, beginning to give some form and character to this blog of moi.

Death by Drowning

In one of my more morbid moments, out comes another death poem :).

Your wallet
sits drying out in the sun
on the porch railing

The leather exudes
its wetness into my nose
reminds me of the water
and what it did to your skin

I recall the whiteness
soft to touch
Rotting flesh peppered with
green weeds and insect bite punctures

The water, it took you,
as it entered you,
you gave yourself up to it

And it gave me your wallet
in return
complete with pennies and stamps


As I try to Freudian-analyze where its coming from, I think of 'Rebecca' by du Maurier. Thats the image that came to my head after I wrote this. So I'm classifying it as a reflection of my memory of the book that I read many years ago, and that I've changed the gender somewhat (if you assume only men carry wallets that is. If not, feel free to imagine away).

Umbrellas and Coconuts

Thoughts of my summer in Sri Lanka continue to crowd my thinking. Umbrellas and coconuts--thats the Sri Lanka I'm remembering tonight.

Umbrellas--to keep out the sun, to keep out the rain.

Coconut--to keep in the sambols.

The umbrellas are SO ubiquitous they should be used for advertising--I'm surprised no one has gotten to that yet. The coconut too is everywhere, it is enshrined in the palate.

Since I'm getting all nostalagic about the umbrellas and coconut, I do so want to feel them near me again.

suspended is ALWAYS taken

Since I've arrived late on the blog scene, my ID of choice, 'suspended' is taken (as usual...). But since am all into the Raqs scene, Raqsat Suspension doesnt resonate too badly, me thinks. Anyway, should prolly get back to studying for Stats, damn exams...